Dear life..
It's a lovely Sunday evening. I am sitting inside this comfortable quilt, wearing plush sweats. My hair are a mess, the curls dangling around my face. Sunday the only day when I can relax but it seems that my insides are excruciating. The cold winds are blowing like an aimless passenger going somewhere. This point of time, I am trying to be calm. Somehow it seems that never ending strings of thoughts, are causing a havoc and turmoil inside me. A hurricane is arising and its going to destroy anything which will come its way, be it people or feelings.
I saw 'Something...' today and it really did broke my heart, I couldn't sit peacefully so I just decided to 'write..' Writing always calms me down, it tames my daemons, it soothes the creases of my forehead. it makes me feel alive again.
There was this 'Something...' I came across, 'Something...' that didn't belong to me, 'Something...' over which I have no right and that 'Something...' is tearing me apart. Occasionally taking deep breaths trying to fill my lungs with maximum air, in a feeble attempt to feel alright.
Can I shout ? Can I scream? Can I laugh? Can I cry? or Can I just stop all this... anyhow, somehow. Pain can be beautiful too, it creates a void which gives me pleasure whenever I peep inside it. A painful pleasure....
There is 'Something...' dragging me away. 'Something...' which is staying which wasn't meant to. 'Something...' which is so wrong but that same 'Something...' feels so so correct. My eyelids feel heavy, I want to sleep peacefully, but 'Something...' keeps popping up in my mind preventing me from doing the same. 'Something...' keeps shattering the windows... whenever that reflection appears on its glass. Even this cozy and opulent bed fails to keep me warm I am cold inside out. Because there is 'Something...' else that is meant to give me that absolute pleasure and comfort.
The faint tickling sound of clock keeps reminding me that this will pass just the way everything else did. I hope that this 'Something...' passes soon. 'Something...' that came walking towards me and 'Something...' which changed it's direction before it reached me. I am trying hard, very hard to prevent this 'Something...' from becoming my everything....
Trying to gather my tattered pieces and standing as rigidly as I can. Because I can't let 'Something...' collapse me again... 'Something...' is not so powerful that it takes away my soul and my happiness.
still I never knew that 'something...' could be so powerful, something that could shake the ground beneath me, and 'Something...' which could penetrate this endless sky above me.
I wish that this 'Something...' didn't exist
from-
('Something...' which is unimportant still feels extremely important)
It's a lovely Sunday evening. I am sitting inside this comfortable quilt, wearing plush sweats. My hair are a mess, the curls dangling around my face. Sunday the only day when I can relax but it seems that my insides are excruciating. The cold winds are blowing like an aimless passenger going somewhere. This point of time, I am trying to be calm. Somehow it seems that never ending strings of thoughts, are causing a havoc and turmoil inside me. A hurricane is arising and its going to destroy anything which will come its way, be it people or feelings.
I saw 'Something...' today and it really did broke my heart, I couldn't sit peacefully so I just decided to 'write..' Writing always calms me down, it tames my daemons, it soothes the creases of my forehead. it makes me feel alive again.
There was this 'Something...' I came across, 'Something...' that didn't belong to me, 'Something...' over which I have no right and that 'Something...' is tearing me apart. Occasionally taking deep breaths trying to fill my lungs with maximum air, in a feeble attempt to feel alright.
Can I shout ? Can I scream? Can I laugh? Can I cry? or Can I just stop all this... anyhow, somehow. Pain can be beautiful too, it creates a void which gives me pleasure whenever I peep inside it. A painful pleasure....
There is 'Something...' dragging me away. 'Something...' which is staying which wasn't meant to. 'Something...' which is so wrong but that same 'Something...' feels so so correct. My eyelids feel heavy, I want to sleep peacefully, but 'Something...' keeps popping up in my mind preventing me from doing the same. 'Something...' keeps shattering the windows... whenever that reflection appears on its glass. Even this cozy and opulent bed fails to keep me warm I am cold inside out. Because there is 'Something...' else that is meant to give me that absolute pleasure and comfort.
The faint tickling sound of clock keeps reminding me that this will pass just the way everything else did. I hope that this 'Something...' passes soon. 'Something...' that came walking towards me and 'Something...' which changed it's direction before it reached me. I am trying hard, very hard to prevent this 'Something...' from becoming my everything....
Trying to gather my tattered pieces and standing as rigidly as I can. Because I can't let 'Something...' collapse me again... 'Something...' is not so powerful that it takes away my soul and my happiness.
still I never knew that 'something...' could be so powerful, something that could shake the ground beneath me, and 'Something...' which could penetrate this endless sky above me.
I wish that this 'Something...' didn't exist
from-
('Something...' which is unimportant still feels extremely important)
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