She decided at last

She was surrounded by a hundred people. Even then she felt so aloof. She had all that beauty any girl  could ever dream for, yet she was not happy. People were so delighted of her demure ways. But who could tell, that behind those beautiful eyes and alluring smile, were some unspoken truths and some of the most appalling phase.

Most good looking and well off men would drool, when she smiled, when she swayed past them. but she never gave any attention to their sparkling gems. She wanted to break all bonds and become so crazy, so crunk. She often wonders , how has her life struck in mere junks. She so much liked perichor,that is the fragrance of earth after  rains. Thinking of all those good times makes her forget all the veins.

She missed her ways of being so crisp, this whole lot of thinking made her pace brisk. So as to forget the time that she always missed, when she sounded so ebullient. Now this day she is hiding all the emotions inside, in acting this way she has become brilliant.

The way she has changed drastically today, was because the way she was parted , from the person  whom she always wanted to be with. There was the time when she used to be so 

carefree and she saw only what her heart desired to see. All she ever lived was their love and
 that felicity , such was her innocence and modesty. But was so unaware of the cruel ways of her so called high class society. All she wanted was her love back, and not this fame and royalty 

She just walked out of that hall and assemblage, she felt so suffocated amongst that cage, the cage which was filled with such  mannequins with no heart and no emotions.

Here there she was , standing in front of the huge ocean. Admiring that beauty she had decided what to do , for her freedom. There was only this azure sea and azure sky to witness her transformation. From a mere body to a free soul. She found this sea to be such a affable and approachable friend , who would finally corrode all her worries and sorrows. She just kept moving forward, for that end and some blissful beginning. Which would be so much better then this life. Finally she decided at last. 

Mirror

I was sitting in front of mirror
here I always decided what to wear

 Today I was searching myself through this reflection
As now , I am sick and tired of all the rejections

I could see that I have lost all my beauty and  charm
Everything around me seems so still, so calm

So proud was I of my charm and beauty
Today getting ready in front of the mirror, was a mere duty

Time changes so quickly, so fast
i don't  remember, when I laughed last

My eyes are digging deep inside 
Within me, a huge pain resides

Wish I could change back everything
This thought seems to me a mere dream
Wish i could fly away with wings
as usual this was one of my unheard scream

I somehow managed to stand up feeling weak and feeble 
I turned around for one last time, so as to find the real me
but all I saw was a tear rolling down my cheeks

I lifted the flower vase , lying on the floor
and smashed the mirror so hard, so that
never again I can see my reflection.......


 

Down fall

My world came crashing down

happiness were nowhere to be found

i tried hard to get up on my feet

but fell again with needs

needs of love, needs of trust 

needs were all i needed just

my path seemed scary and dark 

i am scared, how to walk till last

my vision got blurred with tears

inside me resides only fear

i was no more the charming person i used to be

i desire once again to get free 

free from every pain 

free from every desire

free from every wound

free from everything that's been torn

these stream of tears are not stopping

everything inside seems rotting

i just lay down on,  the cold floor

as i could not see my ultimate downfall

My best day

I checked myself for the tenth time 
to ensure that i just looked fine

the curly waves hanging from the sides 
looked so much similar like a breathless oceans tides

my white gown kissing the ground, like a flowing water stream
everything seemed so perfect , just like my best dream
 
the best dream of my best day
wedding the perfect moment as they all say

all ready to walk down the busy hallway 
i waited so long for this beautiful day

taking peaceful steps , with bouquet in hands
seemed like walking in some wonderland 

my eyes searching their ways out in this crowd
i was blushing hard, with my heart beating so loud

as his perfect, lovely hazel gaze met mine
as if assuring me , everything would be just fine

his lovely smile made me fall  for him all the more
now we would be together, and that is for sure

dream of my best day was now finally real
he whispered "i promise to be always with you dear"

The moon

I was standing alone in the dark night

after long, i was feeling lite

the moon seemed somewhat pale and bright

it looked beautiful amongst the cloud, white

the darkness around me was at its heights

i wanted to break all bonds and fly away like kites

life comes with such unexpected twists and turns

you never know which wind could make you run

i looked at that beautiful moon

it looked like an emperors tomb

it seemed so pleasant and so quiet

i kept staring it, just like that

it felt that clouds were trying to hide the moon

but with every passing breath it just shone

i looked at the scattered darkness all around

it scares me so much, the noise of silence hounds

i so much wanted to wrap that beauty  around

 and wear it, like queen wearing her crown 

i looked at the clock, it was moving continuously round and round

slowly, the dark vanished with the chirping birds sounds

First time

The aura of love
the sweet smelling doves

the fragrance of special one 
the feeling of being won

 emotions running down the nerves
bending of trees like curves

the taste of chirping birds' songs
makes you forget all the wrongs

the first speck of sunshine 
the beautiful settled dine

first time when the cry vanished
first time when happiness came through meshes

first time when life seemed so meaningful
first time, even the smallest thing made me so cheerful

first time when happiness was all my side
first time when my arms grew far and wide

first time when heart was brimming with love 
first time when happiness was flowing in every nerve

the first time i enjoyed this life 
and the first time i wanted to die

Memories

So strange are these 

we call them memories

 

while everything else in this world changes

only left behind are , memories which remains

 

time changes and so do people and feelings, but not memories

so much like the fan hanging on the ceiling

 

time passes by and we don't even realize

so many  laughs have changed into cries

 

while i was living those unforgettable  special moments

those have become memories, that would remain unchanged 

 

so many are these, good and bad, sorrows and worries

all i hold on tight are simply some unforgettable memories 

 

when i am living those moments again, my heart feels so lite 

my happiness knew no bounds all around me is only white

 

i close my eyes and went far away in that past 

which some time back i wanted it forever to last 

 

so beautiful are these memories

when think of them, vanishes all worries

 

even today what ever i am writing

would become a memory, unchanged

Silence

When night slowly creeps in

comes with it lots of silence

When i am looking up at the stars

i realize i am in between wars

 

Wars of choices, wars of voices

wars of likes and wars of dislikes

 

So dangerous has this become

where has disappeared all the fun

I try to search my childhood happiness

in this unexpected and sudden silence

I am looking for that time, in these empty spaces

where my life has struck in mere races

 

Such quietness all around

so stillness everywhere now

this burden of silence has

put my shoulders down

I fear loosing everything which is mine

this is all i wonder every time

asking, why is life taking such a vengeance

all i have around me is this unexpected silence